"I want it my way" _The Choleric
Days before I finally decided to right this post I received alot of praise from a friend (name withdrawn) who I discovered took to share my posts. I was happy and inspired and she asked me to write more and I want to say "Thank you"
I was however skeptical about the fact that my next post would reveal my personality, my weaknesses that I strive so much to hide. When I see tears, sadness and needing other people I see it as a weakness that I can never tolerate and it has taken me continuous denial not to write about finding "ONE'S STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES."i often thought to myself, how could I not practice what I preach? How could I write to others when it has been difficult for me to accept who I am? Then minutes before I started to write, I read a post on haileygracie.blogspot.com entitled P.H.A.T (pretty, hot and thick) and I cannot explain just how much inspiration this lady gave me to accept who I am.
My youngest sister on the other hand (such an enthusiastic sanguine, How does she do that? always happy) laughed at a story I gave her of my judicial attachment a year ago. I visited Shimo La Tewa Prison in the coastal region and somehow I felt rather unemotional about everything around me. Moments before we left the prison I suggested to a friend that we take group photos and "you ladies are so emotional" was the response I got.. he totally refused and asked me why I must have photos all the time yet "you have these moments fresh in your memories." I couldnt quite understand why he dared to criticize my idea and I argued with him for a while till we never actually took any shots. I could not believe how I let him control that situation, on the other hand I didnt get why it amused my siz so much that she laughed at me for hours
I talked to a psychologist who has always insisted that I am extroverted, a fact that I have constantly denied in the past; I mean I took atleast 3 classes on personal temperaments and I always thought I am a calm and quiet person. Well, that still stands but I soon realized my outgoing character dominates more. Also because I knew this would be the stepping stone to the need I have to one day start on writing a book about myself
Well, there were these thoughts. "I cant let my readers know how unemotional I always am" "what if someones I am really close to reads this, will it work against me? "And my friends will finally say, Hmm Jay really things she is some superficial being hah"
And then, I met Esther, Paul and Moses in the Bible. Esther was a leader who advocated to protect the Israelites against cruelty of leadership under Mordecai however she never seemed dictatorial a trait that Paul when he was formally Saul had. Saul persecuted Christians who were weak and only relied on their faith to defend themselves, but never rose against Saul's orders, he however changed when he repented his sins to God and he became a good leader free from dominating others arbitrarily. Moses was what I would term "a reluctant leader"he denied on several occasions to God to lead the Israelites and had many excuses and arguments (the greatest lawyer to ever live) but soon enough he realized his leadership quality and always consulted God and took to make the Israelites obey God's word. He however once felt superficial and was angered by the Israelites' idol worship and broke the tablets containing the 10 commandments and this did not make God happy. Moses was hot tempered
Meet the "CHOLERIC"; Moses, Esther, Paul and me; ( the Hitlers of this world)
ambitious and leader-like, they desire control over others. You do not tell them what to do; they tell you. You should see a choleric at work: they have a wonderful focus as they work and they rarely consult anyone. They are so crafty but they end up being right. They have a motto which says "the end justifies the means" When they end up being wrong, they will not accept that and will look for ways to uphold that wrong or justify it. Most bullies are cholerics and few cholerics are bullies. They are bullies as they love to dominate but they also hate bullies and will stand against them to show that they are the heroes of the story. They are more driven by a desire to prove themselves greater than whoever they are arguing with: "a battle of ego rather than a quest for truth" They may take pleasure in the pain and misfortune of others as it brings them pleasure to feel superior. A choleric would say to himself "Haha look at that loser messing up"
A choleric must recognize his strengths and weaknesses and this will help him or her to understand how to approach a situation and be more productive in their lives. I questioned four people whether they know their personality traits and some told me they dont others easily identified themselves. I believe knowing your temperament is the road to self-awareness. Let me demonstrate
In a family setup, children are born different and their parents also possess characters that influence how they relate with their children. You might find in a family where they know each other's traits helps them know how best to approach each other. My mother for example always consults our second-born for fun activities or on a food recipe something I am never consulted as my choleric side would say what I want and it has to be that and my phlegmatic side would say cook whatever you please and go with whatever will be made
This has more impact in a relationship. Cholerics really find it had to relate with melancholics while dating and they really control phlegmatics. It sounds abit sad but on the bright side when personalities pair up differently, the sense of understanding each other and taking time to know the other partner makes whatever two personalities to blend
Needless to say, when you meet a choleric or if you are one, accept that and know that we are all "fearfully and wonderfully made" dont discriminate
I mean who wants a world where we all think, act and react the same way. It would be boring and their would be no discoveries to be made. One should also know that at times one may have two types of temperaments but there is one that dominates the other.
"If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, Live in the moment, Live in the breadth"
What would a sanguine do? Find out next
I was however skeptical about the fact that my next post would reveal my personality, my weaknesses that I strive so much to hide. When I see tears, sadness and needing other people I see it as a weakness that I can never tolerate and it has taken me continuous denial not to write about finding "ONE'S STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES."i often thought to myself, how could I not practice what I preach? How could I write to others when it has been difficult for me to accept who I am? Then minutes before I started to write, I read a post on haileygracie.blogspot.com entitled P.H.A.T (pretty, hot and thick) and I cannot explain just how much inspiration this lady gave me to accept who I am.
My youngest sister on the other hand (such an enthusiastic sanguine, How does she do that? always happy) laughed at a story I gave her of my judicial attachment a year ago. I visited Shimo La Tewa Prison in the coastal region and somehow I felt rather unemotional about everything around me. Moments before we left the prison I suggested to a friend that we take group photos and "you ladies are so emotional" was the response I got.. he totally refused and asked me why I must have photos all the time yet "you have these moments fresh in your memories." I couldnt quite understand why he dared to criticize my idea and I argued with him for a while till we never actually took any shots. I could not believe how I let him control that situation, on the other hand I didnt get why it amused my siz so much that she laughed at me for hours
I talked to a psychologist who has always insisted that I am extroverted, a fact that I have constantly denied in the past; I mean I took atleast 3 classes on personal temperaments and I always thought I am a calm and quiet person. Well, that still stands but I soon realized my outgoing character dominates more. Also because I knew this would be the stepping stone to the need I have to one day start on writing a book about myself
Well, there were these thoughts. "I cant let my readers know how unemotional I always am" "what if someones I am really close to reads this, will it work against me? "And my friends will finally say, Hmm Jay really things she is some superficial being hah"
And then, I met Esther, Paul and Moses in the Bible. Esther was a leader who advocated to protect the Israelites against cruelty of leadership under Mordecai however she never seemed dictatorial a trait that Paul when he was formally Saul had. Saul persecuted Christians who were weak and only relied on their faith to defend themselves, but never rose against Saul's orders, he however changed when he repented his sins to God and he became a good leader free from dominating others arbitrarily. Moses was what I would term "a reluctant leader"he denied on several occasions to God to lead the Israelites and had many excuses and arguments (the greatest lawyer to ever live) but soon enough he realized his leadership quality and always consulted God and took to make the Israelites obey God's word. He however once felt superficial and was angered by the Israelites' idol worship and broke the tablets containing the 10 commandments and this did not make God happy. Moses was hot tempered
Meet the "CHOLERIC"; Moses, Esther, Paul and me; ( the Hitlers of this world)
ambitious and leader-like, they desire control over others. You do not tell them what to do; they tell you. You should see a choleric at work: they have a wonderful focus as they work and they rarely consult anyone. They are so crafty but they end up being right. They have a motto which says "the end justifies the means" When they end up being wrong, they will not accept that and will look for ways to uphold that wrong or justify it. Most bullies are cholerics and few cholerics are bullies. They are bullies as they love to dominate but they also hate bullies and will stand against them to show that they are the heroes of the story. They are more driven by a desire to prove themselves greater than whoever they are arguing with: "a battle of ego rather than a quest for truth" They may take pleasure in the pain and misfortune of others as it brings them pleasure to feel superior. A choleric would say to himself "Haha look at that loser messing up"
A choleric must recognize his strengths and weaknesses and this will help him or her to understand how to approach a situation and be more productive in their lives. I questioned four people whether they know their personality traits and some told me they dont others easily identified themselves. I believe knowing your temperament is the road to self-awareness. Let me demonstrate
In a family setup, children are born different and their parents also possess characters that influence how they relate with their children. You might find in a family where they know each other's traits helps them know how best to approach each other. My mother for example always consults our second-born for fun activities or on a food recipe something I am never consulted as my choleric side would say what I want and it has to be that and my phlegmatic side would say cook whatever you please and go with whatever will be made
This has more impact in a relationship. Cholerics really find it had to relate with melancholics while dating and they really control phlegmatics. It sounds abit sad but on the bright side when personalities pair up differently, the sense of understanding each other and taking time to know the other partner makes whatever two personalities to blend
Needless to say, when you meet a choleric or if you are one, accept that and know that we are all "fearfully and wonderfully made" dont discriminate
I mean who wants a world where we all think, act and react the same way. It would be boring and their would be no discoveries to be made. One should also know that at times one may have two types of temperaments but there is one that dominates the other.
"When I discover who I am, I will be free"-Ralph Ellison, Invisible man
"If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, Live in the moment, Live in the breadth"
What would a sanguine do? Find out next
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