When He Comes First

                2nd October might have been the happiest day for me, but better "best days" keep turning 

   up since then.......

Well, 2^nd October might have never happened for me and so I don’t take it for granted. I graduated that day, and months prior to that, or better yet, years prior to 2015 I had not really been living.

I asked myself yesterday why I started this blog, it was inspired by myself being a diplomatic human, then on simplicity, knowing how to maintain a high self-esteem, being self-aware, knowing oneself.  Knowing where you would like to be. But according to me this blog has not been doing well, so has many areas of my life. And I realized why

And this post will only help a wise man, because my God tells me that fools despise wisdom especially if it is not the music they want to listen to. And the moment a foolish reader will see me type God and His word, he will either scroll down and see how long this post will be, or press the ‘x’ button to exit this blog. I know this because I have done that before.

            During the month of July this year, a friend called me and told me that the deadline for submitting our dissertations was on 20^th August this year. After that call, I was confused, I had a topic in mind, but I had no supervisor, I had not submitted my research proposal.  I drafted my proposal again and when it was ready, I had taken it to a lecturer whom I was determined will supervise me. That is one problem with us “cholerics” things must always go as we want them to, other than that, me being a first child I always organize my issues without consulting anyone and come up with a ready solution to my situation without consulting anyone (mind you, I knew very well that my proposal had to be approved by the faculty and that the faculty was to assign my supervisor, but cholerics are that crafty and most times we follow our own set of rules)

But this time, God was watching me from a distance, letting me have my way, I had forgotten that He is my potter and I am His vessel. I will explain this.

    I summoned my leadership courage, and walked into the Head of Department’s office and told him that I was ready with a proposal and requested for a supervisor. He referred me to a lecturer whom I feared so much with my proposal for approval. Well, this is what I was running away from. This lecturer was very collected, systematic but to my amazement, patient, He approved my work after 3 days. That was a first step, and when I took it back to the Head of Department, I had a quarrel with him in his office that I almost went into tears. He actually kicked me out. I do not know what inspired me to stay back but He gave me the look of “didn’t I just tell you to get out of my office?” After he had calmed down and I did too, I spoke to him slowly, apologetically and to my surprise He said “then he will supervise you”, by ‘he” he meant the lecturer who approved my proposal, not the one I had in mind. I was thankful but I was disappointed.

By this time, it was the first week of August, and in my approximation, I worked on my dissertation for three weeks and submitted it on the last week of August, I chose my favourite area of research and so many facts were at my finger tips and this helped me to move quickly. During this time I was working under pressure, my mother looked at me and was surprised, how I could go for French classes, organisation meetings, handle work in the house and still kept on researching ( I also still ask how I did it). But other than learning that procrastination is a bad evil to me, I learnt the meaning of putting God in my plans, and consulting first in Him, then on other people

But days before I embarked on starting my dissertation, I made a quid pro quo covenant with God, that if He would get me out of that obstacle, then I would serve Him the way He wanted. I was determined to do anything. I was under pressure and so I made God a promise. God knows our hearts better than anyone else and He already knew whether I would stay faithful to His word, He knew whether I would backslide. But the following day after my graduation, normally it would be time to rest at home after a long tiresome day but I was invited early in the morning to talk about mission work by humble people in Asia. In the afternoon I gave out Christian literature to people from house to house in my neighbourhood, I was chosen by my church, I don’t know what inspired them to do so. But God wanted me to serve Him.

While I was attempting to go back on my word, three experiences were brought to me. Two ladies on JK live on Kenya Television Network explained how they were delivered from prostitution, and being victims of multiple rapes, sought the Lord God with all their hearts and found him. Secondly, was a lady on Family Television who explained that she was involved in continuous fornication with various men and it reached a point that she felt and I quote “I could not recognise who I was any more, people said the way I dressed, related, talked was a culmination of something else.” By something, she meant “evil”. Thirdly, was a movie called “I am in Love with a church girl” where Jeff Atkins made a promise to God to turn away from being a drug dealer and do whatever God wants, but only ask that God save His girlfriend’s life.

I finally understood why sometimes our prayers are not answered, or at least not in the way we expect, because we sought God only when in trouble. But He is faithful enough to deliver us though He has kept on saying to us that “if my people who are called by my name, humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land” (2 Chronicles 7:14)

He wants us to understand that “Before we were formed in our mother’s womb, He knew us, consecrated us and sent us out us leaders over all nations (Jeremiah 1:5, emphasis added) and so He has power over us as our potter (creator) and us as his vessels (creation)… Jeremiah 18:1-10

And so, once we cut Him off, our lives go on, but with no sense of direction, true happiness or true satisfaction. When God told Jeremiah that he will send him out as a leader, Jeremiah said “ I am only a youth I do not know how to speak” (Jer 1:6) But God would tell him what to say and He would deliver him (verse 7, herein cited)

When I was in my third form in high school I got baptized but since then till 2015 is when I have truly experienced God because I promised to seek Him with my entire heart and might this year, with my soul, my education, my career, my blog, my relationship with both men and women, with my future because all this have been astray when I did it my way. But God’s way has and is the best.

As we simply accept God’s control in all our ways, our paths are made straight by Him, in abundance