NOW OR NEVER

While Netflix has been so busy marketing "13 reasons Why" new TV series, I have been tempted to watch it, not only because everyone is talking about it but also because the marketing skills for that series has been amazing. Well, wait until I learnt Selena Gomez is the director, I wondered what I am doing with my life.

I am doing alot, some people think so, but honestly guys, I don’t feel that I am growing as I should. First, and I hope this is not me venting on my blog, I seem to have no motivation this past few months. From the month of February till May, I think I have gained the largest amount of pounds mainly because my mind is settled. I know what that means to someone when all you have to think about is not as stressful at all. For me, that means gaining and gaining as much weight as there can be.

Anyway, guys, I have to tell you this. The last few months have been me in my comfort zone, I have loved it but until now, I hate it. I need something to push me. There is this nightmare road called Mombasa road that I use every day and the last thing I want from anyone is to annoy me in the morning especially on Mondays. There are so many cars in this country at some point I wish we could go back to horse riding or using the trains compulsorily. True story, I left the house at 6.30 a.m and arrived in Nairobi town at 9.15 a.m. Guys, to me that’s a lot of time wasted that I do not know when I will ever recover it. We have to fight for space with heavy long trucks, buses are worse because overlapping is their daily agenda, small cars are slower than anything you can imagine in this world. And motorbikes!! How I wish I could eradicate those. They are extremely dangerous. Our road safety measures do not help at all.

But guys, I don’t just sit there in a vehicle waiting for my two hour journey to end. I always wonder how I can make a change.

Today however had an interesting turn of events, except for the 2-3 hours that I had to tolerate. I sat in a vehicle with my family and a lady friend who we do not talk much. And, I just want to tell you that ladies have become the wisest people in this universe. Long gone are the days that a girl child was born and the first few gifts were dolls, cooking toys or you guys know it all than I do. Young boys and I think they still do, got toy cars, soon enough they would be pushing bicycle tyres or running around as if it was a game of Need for Speed. And, honestly that is how our environment socialized us. I mean, I had dolls as gifts when I was young. I knew I was meant to bring up a family, get married, get kids and maybe, become a stay home mam. Luckily for me, I have an iron lady as a Mam, and I got the memo when I was young that I have a bigger purpose in life. And that squares in to working smart, achieving a lot because I have the potential.

So in between our boring ride to town, this lady friend just dived into talking to my sister and I, on how we needed to strategize on life. I have had this talk with Mam, she always does, but I guess sometimes we just relax, we are inspired but we don’t take action. I listened to her and could get just how happy mam was to hear someone else could help us see the realities of life.

I put my foot down and decided to get off my comfort zone, I hate it anyway. I had to think of why I had not achieved much. I even wrote on this blog in 2015 that I am starting on a book but guess what. I haven’t, and honestly, I am ashamed of myself.

Reader, I however had a talk with myself real quick and decided that the time is now. I have a gazillion of things that I have added to the pending list, and I hate it, and I need you not to be like me. It’s even worse for me reader because I have siblings behind me, whom I know are watching me, looking at me as a role model. I even know many friends who look at me. Wait, leave alone those, I have myself looking up to me. A friend told me this year is my silver jubilee because I turned 25, and at first instance I did not get what that meant.  People mark 25 years of an achievement of something in their lives. It is the year also, that an individual starts thinking seriously about what they wish to achieve in their career life, education, family and perhaps generally one’s life purpose. The next time I will mark my silver jubilee will mean I will be 50. And I wondered to myself if I will look back at years wasted or years well spent. Years of regret or of success, will I age gracefully having lived a legacy behind?

Someone might be saying it is not all black and white? Not as easy as I play it out to be, well, I get that. But who are we kidding guys? Nowadays even some of us school leavers have the habit of refusing a job because it pays peanuts to nothing. But whatever happened to starting from somewhere? I don’t want to mark my next silver jubilee, and say I have actually achieved nothing, I would like to smile, laugh if you will, knowing I reached my highest potential.

So, shame on you and me, for the times you have sat down at home waiting to be fed. Shame on you and me, for continually adding to a bucket list, but have never crossed out an achievement. Shame on you and me for dreaming but never changing those dreams into reality, shame is the worst thing you and I can do to oneself. I was told to come out of my comfort zone, and that is exactly, what you should intend to do.

I had to share this, Inspiration on a Monday, maybe each day should have its own topic, don’t you think. Hey, I have to go; I have a lot to work towards for today and for the rest of my life.